My Job Keeps Me Sane

Here's another thing to file under, "I'd never thought this would happen in my life": I really enjoy my job.

Don't get me wrong. It has its annoying moments, but I never dread going to work, I never wish I could just leave and go home, and I never think about quitting or daydream about something else I'd rather be doing. I am pretty darn content, and when people ask me why I'm still in Colombia if I'm so annoyed by everything, it's the first thing I answer with.

As you all know, Colombia has not been an easy place for me, and the answer to that is complicated. It's been hard to find many people that I feel like are like me, which is to say gay, quasi-counter culture 20- or 30-somethings who are estranged from their families (whether that be by distance or beliefs). Then there's also this summation of my cultural frustrations: It's like when you're in highschool, trying to get to class on time, and there they are, a group of people walking five feet deep blocking the width of the hallway. There's no choice but to walk behind them, grumbling, "Well, I guess this is the speed I'm walking now..." And really I should resign myself to that, I know, but it, like most things, is easier said than done. In certain ways, I've tried to be flexible. I'm eating meat again, most notably, and it's helped, to a degree, and I'm getting better at guessing when someone is going to flake out or plans are going to fall through because things were poorly organized. There's been progress.

But work has kept me going. I never thought I'd reach a moment in my life when I enjoyed my job so much and it was the thing motivating me rather than my escape from it to something else. I love education, and I love participating in it as either student or teacher (I consider the line between the two to be a fine one). I love languages, whether it's English, Spainish, French, Japanese, Esperanto, or any other in the known universe. I love communication and exchanging ideas and seeing the personal growth each student makes. And when I see how much fun they have when I design a really good activity or discussion topic, I feel really happy to be making a difference. Perhaps the better question is what's not to like?

Well, there are a few things not to like, specifically how my job can be at times, like everything else in Colombia, poorly organized. Sometimes my classes with other professors are suddenly cancelled, students don't show up to their tutoring sessions, or teachers tell me what they would like me to prepare for a class visit less than twenty four hours in advance. In some of these situations, I can push back and say no, sorry I should have been told earlier if you wanted this to happen, and sometimes I have to suck it up and just realize where I'm at again. Oh, and I have to get up at five am to teach seven am some days. Yes, all these things, out of context, are unpleasant, but when you like your job, when you like what you do, it gets easy to look past. There's a moment of frustration, but it passes because oh it's two o'clock and it's time to go teach an advanced level conversation club full of people who want to be there.


So in writing about all of my problems so often, I thought it'd be good to remind you all why I came here, why I'm staying here, why I have no intention of leaving early, and why, if I knew then what I knew now, I'd still had chosen to come here all the same.