Signing Off

Well, folks. This is it. I leave for the United States Wednesday, and tomorrow is my last day with access to a computer for a week or so. I've decided not to continue writing while I'm in the US. Just too many other projects that I want to be able to focus on. I will be back mid to late September with entries from France most likely, so it's not really good bye, just see you later.

Speaking of good-byes, I had a giant round of them two weekends ago when a lot of us in Fulbright got together, rented a country house a few hours from Medellin, and hang out. It was one of the most fabulous weekends in Colombia yet. Good times were had by all. There were much merry-making and fun, and I'm glad that it was my last trip in Colombia. Highlights included a day trip to El Peñon, a swarm-of-locus-like invasion of bugs which some helpful, neighborly toads came by and cleaned up for us, monkeys dancing on power lines, and a game of King's Cup in which I realized I have incredibly poor reaction time. Also, there was wine. It was the first time I had wine in about a year. It was delicious.

But really, that was just the beginning. This whole week has been about good-byes, and I realize how much I hate them. It always feels like you're leaving something unsaid or undone. The good-bye never feels real until years later when you look back and realize that you never did see them again and you probably never will. Until then, it's just another see you later, like the end of any other day.

I prefer to just disappear, and really, it's what I would do if I had my way, but I know that other people want to say good-bye, that sometimes they need to, and so I do my best. But for me, that's life. People are here today and then, suddenly, they're not. Sometimes you get to say good-bye and sometimes you don't. It doesn't make too much difference: There's always something left unfinished. There's always something you wish you said or learned or experienced. Even here, even now, there are reasons I wish I were staying in Colombia. Are they enough to keep me from leaving? No, but I have them all the same. There were still things to explore, about the country, about myself, but the tragedy in life, at least for someone with my sort of outlook on it, is that you can't experience it all in one go. You do your best, and when it's over, it's over and you just hope you did it as completely as you could. Do it completely, burn it up, leave no trace.

So, to those of you who have been faithful readers, how do I say good bye to some of you?