Colombian Frogger

Here in Colombia my morning goes as follows: I wake up before the sun at 4 o'clock in the morning. I take about an hour to take a flash shower in cold water (because there's no other option), fix my breakfast and pack my lunch. I then stare at the ground for a good fifteen minutes to mentally prepare myself for the day. When ready, I go to French class, which technically starts at six but in actuality starts at 6:10, and then after class, I walk to work.

When I saw I walk to work, you might think I stroll down streets lined with sidewalks. Perhaps a few stores. Maybe a few early morning joggers and people with dogs. You might think I walk through a field as a shortcut. Something like that.

No. In actually it's more something like this.

A game of human Frogger

You see, pedestrians do not have the right of way in Colombia. Ever. Even when there's a stop sign or a red light. Sometimes, if the road's aren't busy, it's not uncommon for someone to decide that they're no longer into waiting for the light to turn green and they just go for it. Because.... ganas. Addionatelly, stop signs are treated more as yield signs, though I'm not really sure what they yield to. Definitely not me. They kind of slow down and roll through it and then speed back up. Meanwhile, despite running stop signs and red lights, Colombians are always late. Always. Bring a book, or you'll regret it.

You see, parts of the road to work lack sidewalks, and when I get to those parts I have to use the bike lanes. Curiously, I don't encounter a lot of bikes in the bike lane, but I do often end up face to face with cars who are trying to use it to cheat past traffic jams. It's pretty alarming to see a car barreling toward you with nowhere right or left to go. It's also pretty frustrating where you're in a lane that's not meant for cars. (PRO TIP: That's what that bike painted on the ground means.) Normally these attempts to cut everyone in the traffic jam line are pretty fruitless. As far as I can tell, what time they gain in passing the cars, they seem to lose when they have to find a way to merge back into the actual traffic, often unexpectedly because there's a pedestrian or a bike or they need to make a turn. I'm not sure what these drivers think.... Like it's this magic lane reserved only for them so they can get to work late before everyone else. I don't know. Maybe next time one has stopped dead in front of me with no where to go because I have no where to go and the traffic was already jammed up to begin with, I'll ask. Or punch the car, which is what I normally fantasize about doing.

This is the stuff dreams are made of.

This isn't something unique to the road to work. This is everywhere. I was walking through a parking lot, and even in the United States, parking lots can be a place where suddenly all bets are off and people drive wherever they want, don't signal, just do whatever. In Colombia, since the road is often like that to begin with, traversing a large parking lot can be upsetting. Once I pulled the stop sign hand out on someone. I had to. Otherwise, I would've just stood there forever waiting for someone to let me walk. (PRO TIP #2: They will never just let you walk.)

Please?

This all reminds me of when I first came to New York and people would stand in the street waiting for the light to change. I thought they were crazy. I remember I wouldn't get close to the sidewalk because I was afraid a car would hit me. Flash forward about a year and I was standing in the street waiting for the light to change like all the rest. Maybe eventually I'll learn to stop caring and just walk right out into that street like I have the right. And maybe I'll stop viewing Colombian drivers as lunatics with latent homicidal tendencies. I sure hope so at least. It'll make the walk a lot more pleasant.